4 | November/December 2022 | BAEC Bulletin
Letter from the President
PRESIDENT BOND’S THANKSGIVING MESSAGE OF HOPE CAN BE READ ON PAGE 32 Post-pandemic, many are still working remotely and feeling isolated and yet they find themselves resisting going back to the office and even attending social gatherings. That all is bad news, but there was good news too. We have colleagues who care and want to be supportive and help each other when we struggle. We have committees for attorneys with depression and those suffering with substance use disorder. We have a Member Assistance Program that provides members with confidential, free counselling; we have the Erie County Bar Foundation to step in when we need financial assistance to get the help we need. People said I was brave to share my story. I felt that to be in my position and to talk about attorney wellness and not share my story would be disingenuous. Once I started, it wasn’t so hard. It certainly wasn’t as hard as facing those dark days. I know it takes bravery to put one foot in front of the other in the darkness. But I also know that when we are in that dark place, it is hard to see that help is within our reach. You just need to take that leap of faith and reach out. In order to further the dialogue, I plan to host informal sessions over coffee, lunch or end-of-the-day pizza so we can just talk. We can share our struggles and successes. Sometimes we can hear from counsellors and experts who might help us with strategies and tools to move us toward health, balance, well being, happiness, contentment, peace. The Holidays are now upon us. I celebrate Christmas and this time of year brings me hope and joy and a reminder to do good for others. The New Year brings a fresh start with commitments to myself to become a better version of myself. I start by cleaning my closet, my desk and my car. This Holiday season, no matter what you may celebrate , I wish you the joy of giving that perfect gift, the peace of knowing your loved ones are healthy and safe, the warmth of being with those you love and the peace of accepting yourself as perfectly imperfect and loved. I dedicate this message to the memory of James R. Walsh. My husband, Keith was blessed to work most of his career with Jim at Walsh, Roberts and Grace. Jim was a well- respected lawyer who worked tirelessly for his clients. More importantly, he was one of the best human beings I have ever encountered. He was kind and generous. Unless you knew him well, you would never know the depth of his generosity with his time and resources alike. He sought no gratitude or recognition of any kind. The giving itself was his reward. We loved his keen intellect and quick wit—he always had a twinkle in his eye. Most of all, he was a man of devout faith and a family man who loved Colleen, his beautiful wife of 58 years, his four children and nine grandchildren more than anything. His favorite quote was from Saint Theresa, “Let no one ever come to you without leaving better or happier.” Jim lived by those words and those who knew him were indeed better and happier because of him. In your life, you are lucky to meet someone like Jim. To be in a position to regularly witness such a good man in action, and to call him your friend, is a tremendous blessing. Rest in Peace, Jim. We are better lawyers and humans for having known you, and we miss you more than words can say. With gratitude an sincere wishes for a wonderful holiday season and the hope and promise that comes with a new year.
JILL K. BOND President Bar Association of Erie County
Dear Friends,
It has been quite a month since my Thanksgiving message. I have received so much feedback from people I know and people I’ve never met. Mostly, I got support and gratitude for sharing my story. As I read through these notes, there were a few themes that struck me. First, there was confirmation that, while I may have felt very alone when I struggled, I was never alone. Beside me were many colleagues and friends who were also struggling silently. Most of us suffer in silence for a variety of reasons. Our profession requires that we possess a certain air of confidence. We believe that any vulnerability is inconsistent with our and others’ perception of competence. But there is comfort in knowing you are not alone. When you see someone in whose competence you have no doubts and you know they struggle just like you, it helps you get over that obstacle. Our unwillingness to admit to our struggles keeps us from the help that is so close and so needed. The response to my letter made me feel a willingness to accept me despite my struggle. Honestly, I cannot think of anything in my career that elicited such an overwhelmingly positive reaction. If you are struggling and reach out for help, I am confident that you will receive the same support from loved ones, colleagues and even strangers. Many people shared stories of feeling unworthy of all they have accomplished and experiencing “imposter syndrome;” that feeling that someday people will realize that you really aren’t as competent as your position and accomplishments would suggest. I heard from women and men who struggled with depression, sometimes severe, when their children left home. Those whose nests are still full are exhausted from meeting the demands of their families and their profession, often feeling like they are coming up short on both sides of the equation.
With gratitude, Jill •
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